Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
