Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
