I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
