ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
