I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
