He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
