I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Randomize
