I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
