Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
