this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
