Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
where am i from again
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
