She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
