hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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