do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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