This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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