We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
