im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
