So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
