More tranny stories later!
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
