If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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