I just made out with a guy for $7.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
