What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
