make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I deserve this hangover.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
