So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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