So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
