"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Banned from zoo.
Again?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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