oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
