Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
