ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
