He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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