WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
