I wanna bring you to show and tell
this beer tastes like vomit already
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
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