ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Semen is not good for contacts.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
