hell yes lets make some ravioli
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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