The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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