So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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