im drinking this country out of the recession.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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