I bet he comes in French.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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