WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
