Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
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