yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
