ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
