She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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