dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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