Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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