you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
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