i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
