apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
