we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
