We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
