Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
