Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
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